Owning Your Personal Style

How do I handle scenarios where I feel like my style is making others uncomfortable?

I received a great question from a client who wanted to know, basically, what she should do now that she’s discovered her  personal style.

She feels polished now, even when she’s dressed casually. She’s identified her personal style and she wants to know what to do when she feels like she’s making the people around her uncomfortable.

I love this question. It comes from such a caring place. And it reveals an uncomfortable truth: not everyone will be comfortable with  your personal style transformation. Which brings me to my answer:

Anytime someone is made uncomfortable by what you’re wearing, that has 100% more to do with their story and what’s going on with them than it does with you.

This assumes, of course, that you’ve dressed appropriately for the occasion. You’re not going to wear high-heeled shoes to the pool or a ballgown to a friend’s game night. (If you are, you’re absolutely right: you’re making people uncomfortable).

Any comment about how dressed up, how put together, how “nice” you look, said in a tone that is meant to pull you down, comes from a place of shame in the speaker. Their shame could be from any number of things: feeling like they don’t look good because of their weight or their ability to buy nice clothes, or the feeling that they won’t ever look good, period, and they’ve given up, so why don’t you?

Their stories have absolutely nothing to do with you or your personal style. So don’t let their comments get you down.

Remember to dress for you and the situation, not for the person or people you’ll be interacting with.

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